Today is a very special day .. a very special day indeed.
Not because the fabulous year 2014 is going to end and I can sit and countdown until
twelve pm for the new year to begin. Blaah ! Millions through the decades have worked on the
excitement of the new year.But the reason why it is very special to me is
because it taught me strength… it taught me hope.. it taught me love , care,
forgiveness and everything I wanted to be and did not want to be. The only good thing about 31st of every year (unless its a holiday) is that its my Mothers birthday . In the journey of being my mom and handling
my insanity for 21 years. She has
actually given me the self confidence that I am manageably insane.
Let me tell you a small story of my toddler self. It was a
very calm afternoon. I could hear my grandma call me for lunch. The TV remote
was free , my toys scattered on the floor. I
remember myself clinging to the window staring at the road.. ignoring my aunt
.. ..like the very George of the jungle … time passed....
tired of my waiting I dragged the chair to the main door of our house… I waited
...waited ..waited .. zzzzzzz and finally hit the snooze button on. Hours must have passed I heared a familiar euphony
.. could smell a comfortable and familiar smell I woke up to see my mom return
from school (she was employed) for lunch. I remember sitting on her lap and staring at
the cartoon book she was holding in one hand. I remember the twinkle in her eyes when she read out a line and fed me a
spoonful of rice. Sometimes later I still
have a very vague memory of realizing and reading out my first word from a book
sitting on her lap.
As vague and misty memories can be, one thing I can be sure
of is she might have failed in making me that chubby little toddler but what
she forced into me wasn’t that spoonful of rice. But something bigger than that-
she opened up my world of curiosity.
She was my safer spot when the world scared me. Every lunch
on Sunday or dinner time during weekdays she told us stories not of some
unknown land. But the anecdotes about my own relatives. Her childhood… her memories. This made me grow up as a person who had eyes
to see the best in people. Later when I grew up I realized the rose garden I
lived also contains thorns. I noticed the flaws my relatives made. But being
her daughter I had eyes only to see the roses not the thorns. She taught me how
to forgive those thorns. When something bothered me what echoes in my head is
just her voice quoting Jawaharlal Nehru “And I reject the Indian Noise.”
When I saw myself no longer as girl but as a knotty teenager trying
to fit in the indian idealogy of a woman. When the Indian society around had
different ideologies and when the indian mothers preached "The- Ideal-dutiful -ndian women-morse" to their daughter.She was one mother who recited Bharatiyaar’s
puthumai pen. Made me realize I am an individual and I have my stand. Gave me
choices let me stand up for them.
Optimism was better understood not when my mom taught me Shelly’s
Ode to the West Wind. But when she stands by my dad’s side through the stormy days.
She taught me “Love is not love which alters when its alteration finds.”
I remember her waking up early at four finish making all the
meals for the days. I remember her running to catch to bus at morning 6 am . I
rember her face the world with all her might.I ve seen her travel a thousand miles to the
most rural schools of tamilnadu. She taught me about self satisifaction,
dedication and what it takes to make a difference in others lives. Through the stormy
days or the normal ones. She and dad never made us feel the change. Made me believe Life is not in waiting for
the storm to pass but in dancing in the rain.
Long ago she told me “
As long as you are in my hands I want to let you live your dreams.” I saw her
struggle as she said these words . For it’s a universal fact that a mother is
an overprotective creatures. I was
struggling through the time when I felt let down by people I loved . So was she
“Promise me that you will be bold when you might face a situation where people
let you down. Promise me you wont be broken when by chance the situation
returns again. For I know you are attached to your new friends now.” I could
sense the fear she had but eventually she let me live my life.. make mistakes
and learn from them. Standing beside as my friend seeing me fall , pick myself
up and run ahead. Hiding her own expectations for me as a typical indian mother
she lets me explore the world. I acknowledge those struggles she faces to see
me get hurt yet sticks to her own promise to let me live my dreams. She
taught me what A MOTHER can be.
People said a mother is the sacred figure of care, love and
affection. She showed me the best mom
comes with an additional package of being strong, determined, never letting go
of loved ones, letting go or forgiving people, having the guts to face your
fears, optimistic, what it takes to be a teacher, hope, never ever to judge
people, never ever to give up …. The list
goes on..
With the IQ of a skeptic CBI
officer when it comes to my pointless dramas (which is easily identified in a
jiffy) she turns out to be very haughty dangerous creature while I tend to be the pantomime
drama queen. Gathering the experiences of handing such a unique species like me,she still teaches me of tolerance ,humanity and sanity.( With a sigh she might
say its fate.) But mom(if you are reading this ) you really have taught me that we keep on discovering
ourself everyday. Let yours continue as my mother mine as your daughter
trying to drench us in the amicable drizzles and downpours.
